delving into some deepness

so I heard my mom say "you're not mature" today.

I know I'm not, but it just discourages me so much to hear that. I'm the firstborn so I kinda have to be the mature one, but I'm just not. I don't even know what maturity is. It probably has a lot to do with my mother's perception of what maturity is. Regardless, my suspicions conclude that maturity is:

1. Able to take care of oneself by a) sleeping adequately b) recovering from indulgence c) eating healthily.
2. Taking care of what's important first. Need comes before desire. So in my parents' view: grades and school come before exercise and personal fitness.
3. Able to be non-dramatic and still maintain friends.

I agree with most of them. I just have a problem with the first two because I have a tendency to indulge and not thinking of myself in the process. I indulge, blame myself for it, keep digging myself in guilt until someone notices and shouts at me to stop thinking about the past. I indulge and indulge and sleep becomes to have no importance. I should really really change that because sleep is probably the most important thing in my life right now. I just have to remind myself that days go on and it's not the end of the world if I don't do this or that today.

I also have to realize what is important and do that first before I do what I want. Like right now, I should be doing some sort of a scholarship application or working on my homework. Instead, I'm writing about how I should improve my life on a public blog. So...I will go now.