GD & TOP. The greatest album ever.
Two rappers going at it with their heart and soul and nobody there to stop them.
Awesome beats and charismatic voices = love.
Big Bang could be my most favorite band ever. They're so genuine - they love music. I can tell through their voice and the way they treat their music, both in recording and on stage. All of them are so different.
Daesung - overly cute, incredible vocal range. Smooth, smooth tone.
Taeyang - insane dancing skills with a soul voice. Black korean.
TOP - insanely good looking, unique voice and able to pronounce English words.
GD - ahead of the fashion curve, passionate, cute, honest and genius/talent at music.
Seungri - ambitious to the point of annoyance, but confident.
When they're together, it's pretty amazing - they can create any type of music and it'll be awesome. GD and TOP announced that they're returning to their original image and music that they produced before the 2.5 year hiatus and I'm pretty excited for that. Haru haru anyone? Sunset Glow?
But, I also realize that I'm at fault for disliking change so much. Change is incredibly distrustful because it goes against control. Even in things we like - we like what we like because we've been liking it for a long time. When I first listened to GD & TOP, I spewed vulgar words at it because I hated change. Now, it's my favorite album of all time. I guess change is good. Vote for Obama for 2014! Seriously, America needs change.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Long term memory and the withering vine of youth
In the midst of me copying down the psych presentations down in my journal, I find that here's definitely thing I can learn. For example, that it's easier for me to recall information if it is over-learned(Bahrick, Bahrick and wittlinger). As I think about it, the only way I was confident enough for exams in the past was if I over-learned them. Without that it was impossible to get As. Now, as I'm older, it's very very hard for me to over-learn. Due to the fact that I don't have as much time and that the information doesn't enter my brain as smoothly. I've also thought that doing well on tests had to with being confident in what you learn, but see, over-learning encourages confidence. Maybe if I am inherently confident I wont have to study as much and still do well o tests!! How efficient that would be.
I have doubts if I'll ever be able to store as much and detailed info into my long term memory as I've done in the past. I don't think I'll ever remember stuff I've learned this year, or last year. Or, maybe I'm just not conscious of the fact that I know the info and I panic because I want to be conscious of my knowledge.
Ahh psychology is getting to me.
I have doubts if I'll ever be able to store as much and detailed info into my long term memory as I've done in the past. I don't think I'll ever remember stuff I've learned this year, or last year. Or, maybe I'm just not conscious of the fact that I know the info and I panic because I want to be conscious of my knowledge.
Ahh psychology is getting to me.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Words of Wisdom
Very short post:
As I'm completing my scholarship application I run head to head with my Dad. Part of the application requires a recommender to say stuff about me. I think of a guy that I've known for a long time - he's nice, he's cool, and he has had an ok position under Microsoft. My dad says the most important part of the application is the recommender's status in business - you know, if he's a ceo, project manager, some high position like that.
I might be naive or maybe I'm just a different breed, but I just disagree with the notion that I should appeal to people with more power so that I can get favors. This is just what business life is and right now, I have 0 tolerance for people who work in corporate businesses. Everything is a lie and talent gets squished under this massive hierarchy of people who have the smart mouth and the sly personality to get what they want.
But I guess as I enter college and the entire world looms before me, I need to put myself out there. I need to believe that I'm living hard, that what I'm doing is right, or at least justified. Otherwise, I'm going to get nowhere - not even just financially, but any other way possible.
As I'm completing my scholarship application I run head to head with my Dad. Part of the application requires a recommender to say stuff about me. I think of a guy that I've known for a long time - he's nice, he's cool, and he has had an ok position under Microsoft. My dad says the most important part of the application is the recommender's status in business - you know, if he's a ceo, project manager, some high position like that.
I might be naive or maybe I'm just a different breed, but I just disagree with the notion that I should appeal to people with more power so that I can get favors. This is just what business life is and right now, I have 0 tolerance for people who work in corporate businesses. Everything is a lie and talent gets squished under this massive hierarchy of people who have the smart mouth and the sly personality to get what they want.
But I guess as I enter college and the entire world looms before me, I need to put myself out there. I need to believe that I'm living hard, that what I'm doing is right, or at least justified. Otherwise, I'm going to get nowhere - not even just financially, but any other way possible.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
i have no idea what this title should be.
Just some interesting topics I've been thinking about...
- Introspection
I've been talking to a good friend of mine about life in general, and one thing stuck out to me: that I think too much. I internalize situations and events so much that in reality, I get nowhere. Life really doesn't require too much thinking: it's mostly about the experiences and emotions. Thinking only gets you success - critical thinking at best. But generally thinking about everything and every thought you have had gets you absolutely nowhere. I've also found that music is a really good way to close yourself off from the world and entrance you in the thinking stage. Music is very good and appropriate in certain situations but most of the time, it closes you off, it makes you think. For me, thinking gets me usually depressed and thus if you connect it logically, music -> thinking -> depression. I think I get depressed because I think about myself too much. Even in conversation, I'm the one usually thinking how I can reply to stuff, not what other people are thinking about. In that aspect, I'm a egotistical bastard but hey, isn't everyone? Thus, I resolve to listen to what other people say and converse. There is a big difference between conversing and responding.
- Happiness
One crucial thing I experienced was that when I'm not happy, I'm point all the bad things that has happened to me. I like to take responsibility for a lot of things, but to grow in life, that's not necessary. Life is about self-growth after all (But interestingly, half of the self-growth is about other people, in caring, helping, listening and loving other people). I can only reach happiness when I don't compare myself to other people. There's no need and there's no benefit to it. So, why do I do it? Why do I compare my assets to that of other people as if assets were grades? Oh I'm pretty good at throwing the frisbee but that guy has this crazy wind-up. Even social aspects like conversing, I sometimes compare myself to other people. Wow, that guy has a really smooth mouth and way of talking. This may sound stupid, but I'm pretty sure everyone's done that before. Comparison gets you nowhere. Believe in oneself is the only thing that will lead to self-confidence, growth, and success anywhere.
In relation to this topic is the matter of opinions. Previously, I always held down my own opinions because I thought they weren't valid. I was wrong. Expressing opinions is probably the only thing that makes each of us unique. All we say are opinions. So withholding what I have is detrimental, almost. Expressing opinions isn't bad - putting down other's opinions as of less worth or even less "valid" is what's terrible.
I have just read over what I've written and I made almost 0 sense. Almost. Some things are better experienced than said
- Introspection
I've been talking to a good friend of mine about life in general, and one thing stuck out to me: that I think too much. I internalize situations and events so much that in reality, I get nowhere. Life really doesn't require too much thinking: it's mostly about the experiences and emotions. Thinking only gets you success - critical thinking at best. But generally thinking about everything and every thought you have had gets you absolutely nowhere. I've also found that music is a really good way to close yourself off from the world and entrance you in the thinking stage. Music is very good and appropriate in certain situations but most of the time, it closes you off, it makes you think. For me, thinking gets me usually depressed and thus if you connect it logically, music -> thinking -> depression. I think I get depressed because I think about myself too much. Even in conversation, I'm the one usually thinking how I can reply to stuff, not what other people are thinking about. In that aspect, I'm a egotistical bastard but hey, isn't everyone? Thus, I resolve to listen to what other people say and converse. There is a big difference between conversing and responding.
- Happiness
One crucial thing I experienced was that when I'm not happy, I'm point all the bad things that has happened to me. I like to take responsibility for a lot of things, but to grow in life, that's not necessary. Life is about self-growth after all (But interestingly, half of the self-growth is about other people, in caring, helping, listening and loving other people). I can only reach happiness when I don't compare myself to other people. There's no need and there's no benefit to it. So, why do I do it? Why do I compare my assets to that of other people as if assets were grades? Oh I'm pretty good at throwing the frisbee but that guy has this crazy wind-up. Even social aspects like conversing, I sometimes compare myself to other people. Wow, that guy has a really smooth mouth and way of talking. This may sound stupid, but I'm pretty sure everyone's done that before. Comparison gets you nowhere. Believe in oneself is the only thing that will lead to self-confidence, growth, and success anywhere.
In relation to this topic is the matter of opinions. Previously, I always held down my own opinions because I thought they weren't valid. I was wrong. Expressing opinions is probably the only thing that makes each of us unique. All we say are opinions. So withholding what I have is detrimental, almost. Expressing opinions isn't bad - putting down other's opinions as of less worth or even less "valid" is what's terrible.
I have just read over what I've written and I made almost 0 sense. Almost. Some things are better experienced than said
Monday, January 3, 2011
Just can't....do it
I'm pretty tired and irritated. And, these are the thoughts that pour out.
I'm a Christian. I was born and raised as a Christian and despite everything I do, I keep coming back. I'm afraid to venture forth into the world not because my conscience prevents me so, but that I do not know when I will stop. God is like a planet and the universe is the world. How can I, boosted off from a tiny rock in space, come to realize all that the universe is and still have the faith and simple interest in coming back to what is already there on the God-planet? Of course, God is everything and above everything, but still, the world is quicksand, ever so subtle and ever so addicting that once I'm in, I will not know how to climb back up.
I realize I'm questioning the existence and reality of the God I believe in. But I think every believer comes to this crossroad.
The world, right now, holds so much for me. But at the same time, I can tell that I secretly push it away. Any non-Christian person, any thing that is of the world, I smile and get along on the outside, but feel myself alone at the end. It doesn't help that in the local church, there's not many young people I can relate to. Most young Christians, whether Baptist, Pre-bysterian, Evangelical, or whatever is out there - they go to church to belong in a community. A community that receives you as you are. Usually, youth group make sure to retain most of its young people and through many gatherings, meetings and non-religious activities, they create a sort of a special connection between each other. Sadly, the Church in Bellevue lacks this special connection.
There's only two people in my youth group that are my age - one boy and one girl. Both are from Newport and they are incredibly nice. But I can't relate to them. Most of the high school people left about 2-3 years ago and now there is this new generation of young people in the 12, 13, 14 year old group.
Meetings are completely useless. There's no point in going to them anymore. I zone out, the serving ones are too timid, and there's no role models for me to follow. A person once said young people need an example, not a voice to follow. And, by the looks of it, there's no one to follow in this damn place. I appreciate the genuine concern the serving ones have for the young people, but seriously, give me a break. Talking to us just doesn't cut it. It's fucking dumb. We sing, no one praises. Stuff like that. Just no enjoyment. And, the stuff the serving ones teach isn't real, it's not applicable. The youth group is doing this year-round bible-reading project on top of the weekly church portions and I'm not on the ball on either of those. We're promised a trip to some destination in the U.S., but as of the moment, I really don't want to go on a long car ride with young people who talk about Angry Birds 24-7. My parents don't care, I don't care. Fuck it. Going to meetings is a chore.
I have senioritis and I'm surrounded by people who don't share what I enjoy. I only have a late curfew but that's it. And being me, I'm inclined to stay at home rather than go out to see what's out there. I'm thinking about getting a job just to fill in the time. I have a few very good friends. Then, young people at the age of 12. Parents who are jump-starting second careers and still holding idealistic visions of the world around them. A cousin who is inconfident. An incredibly annoying internship teacher. "gifted" students.
Deep inside, I know I can turn this situation upside down and be thankful. But how? Following who?
asdf
I'm a Christian. I was born and raised as a Christian and despite everything I do, I keep coming back. I'm afraid to venture forth into the world not because my conscience prevents me so, but that I do not know when I will stop. God is like a planet and the universe is the world. How can I, boosted off from a tiny rock in space, come to realize all that the universe is and still have the faith and simple interest in coming back to what is already there on the God-planet? Of course, God is everything and above everything, but still, the world is quicksand, ever so subtle and ever so addicting that once I'm in, I will not know how to climb back up.
I realize I'm questioning the existence and reality of the God I believe in. But I think every believer comes to this crossroad.
The world, right now, holds so much for me. But at the same time, I can tell that I secretly push it away. Any non-Christian person, any thing that is of the world, I smile and get along on the outside, but feel myself alone at the end. It doesn't help that in the local church, there's not many young people I can relate to. Most young Christians, whether Baptist, Pre-bysterian, Evangelical, or whatever is out there - they go to church to belong in a community. A community that receives you as you are. Usually, youth group make sure to retain most of its young people and through many gatherings, meetings and non-religious activities, they create a sort of a special connection between each other. Sadly, the Church in Bellevue lacks this special connection.
There's only two people in my youth group that are my age - one boy and one girl. Both are from Newport and they are incredibly nice. But I can't relate to them. Most of the high school people left about 2-3 years ago and now there is this new generation of young people in the 12, 13, 14 year old group.
Meetings are completely useless. There's no point in going to them anymore. I zone out, the serving ones are too timid, and there's no role models for me to follow. A person once said young people need an example, not a voice to follow. And, by the looks of it, there's no one to follow in this damn place. I appreciate the genuine concern the serving ones have for the young people, but seriously, give me a break. Talking to us just doesn't cut it. It's fucking dumb. We sing, no one praises. Stuff like that. Just no enjoyment. And, the stuff the serving ones teach isn't real, it's not applicable. The youth group is doing this year-round bible-reading project on top of the weekly church portions and I'm not on the ball on either of those. We're promised a trip to some destination in the U.S., but as of the moment, I really don't want to go on a long car ride with young people who talk about Angry Birds 24-7. My parents don't care, I don't care. Fuck it. Going to meetings is a chore.
I have senioritis and I'm surrounded by people who don't share what I enjoy. I only have a late curfew but that's it. And being me, I'm inclined to stay at home rather than go out to see what's out there. I'm thinking about getting a job just to fill in the time. I have a few very good friends. Then, young people at the age of 12. Parents who are jump-starting second careers and still holding idealistic visions of the world around them. A cousin who is inconfident. An incredibly annoying internship teacher. "gifted" students.
Deep inside, I know I can turn this situation upside down and be thankful. But how? Following who?
asdf
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